Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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