One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
