He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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