So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
