you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
