Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
