My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
