my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
