I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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