I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
