you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
