i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
