how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He? As in you personified your dick?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
