I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There's always time for handjobs
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
