i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize