I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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