dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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