I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
