Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
