omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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