I cannot find my penis.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Dick very happy bro
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
