no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
