it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
