I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
