her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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