I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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