Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
