We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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