i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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