I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
