ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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