WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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