you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
