Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I AM VODKA MAN
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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