Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
