I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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