just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
