I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
