the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
