I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize