Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
