a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
