I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
