NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize