so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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