Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
