does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Randomize
