So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize