He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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