I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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