she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You dont lie about slip and slides
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
