Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
