That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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