So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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