hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
