Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
