maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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