i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
