Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
