I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
what day is it and did you see me today?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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