I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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