We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
