i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
