there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
